Read my Lips

Gaga over a1, the boyband

2012-02-26T10:14:00.000-08:00

Ok. Do I really have to write anything more or did the video just said it all? LOL

If it's not at all redundant, I had the best experience of seeing my favorite boyband a1 perform live together with Jeff Timmons of 98* and Blue at the Smart Araneta Coliseum (02.25.12).

I was a crazy a1 fan since my grade school days and I had to stop myself from fainting when I learned about this concert. Luckily, my friends were so supportive to come with me on the said event :)

It was just Christian Ingebrigtsen, Mark Read, and Ben Adams who performed that night; I don't know what's the catch, but I've heard that Paul Marrazi had long left the group. Anyway, I was so amazed on how they have grown from a charming boy group to a real-life band with instruments and all!!

The a1 fever was so overwhelming that it made me miss my grade school and high school days. There were screaming before, during, and after each song! It's really crazy!

The group was so thoughtful that they really made the effort to perform all their hits for the fans. I was made nervous by the opening video wherein a teasing 'R U READY FOR a1' was flashed followed by a recorded polyphonic performance they made (which I did not understand because I was so busy screaming and looking for them!) and then a countdown leading to seemingly an explosion -- and then when the lights lit, they were already on stage singing 'Same Old Brand New You'. Super cool!!

The boyband fever was so alive as they sang their past hits Be the first to believe, Take on Me, Everytime, Ready or Not, One More Try, Living the Dream, No More, Heaven by your side, One Last Song, Like a Rose, Caught in the Middle, and some new hits from their latest album Waiting for Daylight: Take You Home and In love and I hate it. Their version of Lady Gaga's Poker Face and Black Eyed Peas' Tonight's gonna be a Good Night was indeed a revelation.

During what they said was their best dance move, Ready or Not

They claim to have acquired Filipino names during their short stay, that's Macoy for Mark, Chan-Chan for Christian, and Bentoy for Ben. I think its a bit corny now but I remember finding it so cute that night. Haha!

A1 was awesome on stage, the years really did good to them. They seem to have not aged one bit and their music was amazingly still in the hearts and minds of their fans.

I love them! And oh, I'm certain that I'll forever be a fan :)

On schools: Alma Mater

2012-02-16T21:16:00.000-08:00

This past week, I suddenly had a thing with schools. Last Friday, I have been to my high school alumni homecoming (where no one from my batch mates came by the way: good thing I was with my siblings) and just yesterday, I was at Manila Tytana Colleges (MTC) to show support for their campus publication - The Centerpost - which I was formerly part of.

It was MTC's 36th year anniversary, and despite the name change, I saw familiar people of which many the names I already forgotten (the trick: avoid eye contact LOL). One activity which I am truly proud of was The Centerpost's Car Stuffing activity tagged Overload. Overload is on its third year now and it has never failed to bring joy to the entire MDC, now MTC, community. The mechanics of the game was simple, the press people would provide a car, an actual car, and groups of participants would try to squish in as much people as possible inside the said vehicle. Each group is given a time limit of 00:01:30 to get into the car, all doors then will be closed for 10 full seconds and the each participant will be counted as they get off one by one. The two-year Overload record is 26 participants; prize at stake is Php 20,000. If the record is exceeded, the group gets an additional Php 5,000.

Being 'in school' really gives me that certain happiness you wouldn't find in a workplace.

I miss being a student, really.

I miss dining with The Centerpost gang :(

Restudy

2012-01-21T01:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure if it's just me, but I definitely think that the last four years I spent making nursing care plans, defending case studies, memorizing drug names, and reading on pathophysiologies did not - in any conceivable way - prepare me for my job as a real-time nurse. I was never a good student, my late-night reviews was just enough for the next day and I wouldn't have gotten a good ranking if not for my scholarship; which stood as my second conscience, always prodding me to study or else.

So now that I am already a full-pledge nurse, it's depressing to admit that I still have a lot to learn. I hate the feeling when a patient asks me "What is this drug for?" I would answer with the vaguest 'it's for your heart sir' and then I silently pray he stops asking. Some patients would also ask for an update on their medical condition, and that I would promptly throw to the resident doctor.

Seriously, I don't want to grow old in this profession feeling inferior and deficient (although I do not really intend to grow old here, but who knows?). It was just a little over a year since I've graduated but I felt that very minimal was stored in my so-called stock knowledge. I have somehow perfected the skills through experience; but the theories had long abandoned me.

I really want to be reviewed; but opening my humongous college books does not appeal to me. I thought of taking the National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX), so I could be forced to review; but I just cant stand the pressure of taking an exam and paying a handful. I then thought of upgrading my education, enrolling for a master's degree, and then much of a bonus, I'll get additional letters at the end of my name!

I don't intend to teach in universities or be promoted once I get that additional credential. I just want to learn more, i want to save my face and the face of Nursing the next time I encounter another nosy patient. Enrolling for a Masters of Science in Nursing (MSN) seems like a good idea to me now. I miss the feeling of being a student, although if I really decided to pursue this, I'd be juggling my study with my energy-drenching work in the hospital: the best of luck to me.

Presently, I'm done looking up for schools on the internet, it seems that only a few schools are offering MSN; meaning I would have to settle with the most accessible and one that could probably give me a scholarship. Well, there's no harm in hoping! :)

THE PEOPLE OF MY 2011

2012-01-01T18:50:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of an appropriate year-end blog post. I first thought of making a list of things I am thankful for in 2011; but then I thought it will be the same old I'm thankful for my family, friends, job, material possessions, etc. and it will the same every single year. I then came across the blog of celebrity Bianca Gonzales: she has there a list of people who had made her year. I was inspired and I decided to follow suit.

So there, following is the list of ten people who had made significant contributions in my life for the year that just passed, 2011.

DISCLAIMER: The list does not include my mom, Tina Desuyo; because I find it unfair to tag her as having made significant impact on my 2011. In truth, she has the biggest impact in my life not just for this year; but for as long as I could remember. I love you madam!

Now, meet the people of my year 2011.

SOPHIE KINSELLA

Yes, the author of the international Shopaholic series has inspired me in more ways than she can ever imagine. Call me late bloomer, but it was only in 2011 that I was able to finish the Shopaholic series. I was never a fan of long-reads, but Kinsella has really got me! She has inspired me to be the writer that I wanted to be and that's just all I needed. Keep on writing, I wish I could be like you!

MY WORKMATES

It is a first that I get to have workmates (those in the photo are nurses by the way, during our Christmas party). I am amazed on how groups of people work together in order to save lives. I have the coolest job and I'm happy to be doing what I have been doing this past year. Go 3C!

BISHOP CHITO TAGLE

Now the archbishop of Manila, he is an inspiration to the people of Imus, Cavite. We miss those animated homilies, but we are proud that someone from the small town of Imus now represents the country's capital. I bet Bishop will soon be a Pope.

ANN MARIZ TORRELLA

A.M. and I have been friends for almost five years now, we were classmates since 2nd year college and we've been inseparable since then. I love her wit, honesty, and zest for life. A.M. is at the moment still one of the thousands of unemployed nurses in the country, but I can say that she's way a better nurse than me despite my experience. A very industrious person, I pray she gets her dream job this year. I love you tol!

BENEDICT RIVERA

Sir Dek, my head nurse is one person who have contributed a lot to my nursing career. He sets a good example to all: despite his rank, he wouldn't think twice of doing the job of a nursing assistant or housekeeping staff. A very dedicated person who never fails to crack jokes even at the middle of a growing tension. Really, if I would be asked to name a great nurse, I wouldn't go as far as Florence Nightingale or Ediborah Yap; because here in 3C you'll find one in Sir Dek.

SIXTEEN RAMOS

This pretty girl is one of my choir mates from the Marian Choir of Cavite. I have actually known her for more than 10 years now as we have also sang in the same group when we were kids. Despite these years, I can't say that I really know her. She stands out in a crowd and people oftentimes find her presence intimidating; and that includes me. This year though, we partnered in business and I was able to know her better. I've learned that Sixteen is more than just a head turner: she's funny meanwhile gorgeous, relaxed meanwhile hardworking, she has a big heart for her family but still with a lot more love to share. Tin, I apologize if I wasn't a very good friend; I'll do better in 2012. I love you!

CARINA ESPEDIDO

My aunt is by far the most generous person I know (I don't know if I've thanked her enough for that beautiful orange stethoscope she bought me which I boast every single time). Tita Bebe, apart from being my aunt, is a cool confidante: I can talk to her as if she's just one of my friends and our age gap is insignificant. Despite her residing in the US, she is always thoughtful and when she comes home for vacation, one helluva companion to be with. Thanks for everything, stay cool!

ALONA KEMPIS

Ma'am Alona was a former co-staff nurse that was two years my senior. She was a kind teacher and I'm very proud to have her as my mentor. I remember my first day of work when she literally accompanied me to my patients because I was running late on the medications. I was close to tears that time, good thing she was there to help me. Ma'am Alona is now in Oman, I terribly miss her laugh and non-stop dialogues. Keep safe ma'am!

ANGELICA ALINE DESUYO

My only sister, is one person whom like Sixteen, I just got to know better this year. Yes, we talk and share the same room, but we do not have that sticky sisterly bond as most people have. With six years my junior, Aje is definitely more of a household chore-material than me. I'm glad that we've been closer this year, she says its partly because we see each other more often now as she recently joined my singing group. I look forward to more bonding time with you Aje!

RAELENE TOROSSIAN

I know I shouldn't be including her on this list, I have had a million debates with myself on this, but I've just decided to include Raelene. She is the granddaughter of our longest-staying patient that eventually went home recovered: the one featured in my blog post entitled Fulfilled. I have no consent as I write this, but she has just made a huge impact on me that I wouldn't care less about a lawsuit.

Raelene is a fresh grad nurse with no work experience yet. I was inspired by her undying love for her grandmother as she religiously takes care of her 24/7 while she was still admitted. She does the vital signs monitoring, bedside care, and changes the soiled diaper for most of the lengthy admission. Her selfless love is undeniably one of the reasons Mother recovered. I look up to her as I do not have a grandmother anymore; I wish I was able to take care of her the way Raelene did.

Now that they're home, I bet she's doing a great job on Mother. Makes me think, great nurses are not all found in hospitals, some are at home, rendering their services for free for their loved ones.

How about you, who are your people of the year?

This is your time to recognize them, even if they will see your list or not.

Merry duty!

2011-12-25T02:04:00.000-08:00

DECEMBER 24, 2011 - For 20 years, I have never, I mean never spent Noche Buena (Christmas Eve meal) away from my family. This year will be different though; I bet it will be one amazing feeling spending Christmas Eve in the hospital as I am now a 'genuine' nurse. I don't know if I should blame this to bullying; but as a junior nurse, I was tasked to take a Night Shift (10pm-6am) on one perfect day: December 24. No candlelit table, ham, or fruitcake for me this year: just me, my stethoscope, a couple of medications and my patients.

To aid my gloom, my family decided to eat out (early Noche Buena) before I come to duty. We had pizza, seafood pasta, sausage rolls, and ice cream: to basically advance the holiday cheer. Now nobody can tell me I had a sad Christmas eve, LOL.

Noche Buena at around 6pm I guess

After which I went straight to the hospital. I came in early, just past 9pm so that those from the PM shift (2pm-10pm) can save themselves from spending Christmas in traffic. It was a merry feeling anticipating Christmas outside the home and I was quite excited about it, i mean how independent can this be?

After endorsement though, my charge nurse received a phone call from the nursing supervisor telling him to 'lend' me to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) as they need one more nurse there. I was like, seriously? Bummer, it was sad man! I definitely think its sad not to greet Christmas in my own home, much more not in my own station. Merry Christmas to me.

So there, I became a PICU nurse for the night. The patients there were so tiny I found myself calculating each move I make. Midnight struck as I take vital signs and feed the small kid; the parents greeted me 'Merry Christmas' as I smile back and wave.

At that instant, I thought of my family in Cavite; they're probably exchanging gifts and singing carols by now. I thought of my friends who might be already drunk and uttering incomprehensible greetings. I thought of my own station: it's warmth and familiarity. For the first time in my life, I was not around people I know at this special moment that happens just once a year, I did not stare at the clock anticipating each minute to be the one to shout the loudest Merry Christmas: I was in a distant place performing an important task on Christmas day. But also for the first time in my life, I did not feel incomplete; in fact I felt none of those holiday glee are as important.

Due to the awful silence at the PICU, I recall praying and greeting Jesus Christ his due birthday greeting. I laugh at myself as I remember this; I mean that was a first, sheesh.

That Christmas was a revelation to me: I know there are a lot more that I need to learn. And I am in awe every time I discover new things in my job. It's like being in a shop the whole day and still finding stuffs you missed the first look. I spent the 21st Christmas of my life performing my duty as a nurse: I'm not sure but I guess I just felt fulfilled for the second time.

Next stop, new year duty!

FULFILLED

2011-12-04T05:44:00.001-08:00

NOVEMBER 30, 2011 – I have no idea what ‘being fulfilledas a nurse’ means. I hear fulfillment stories from my grade-conscious classmatesin College and/or corny staff nurses; it’s just depressing that I do not havethe slightest hint on how it feels. Iknow how to be fulfilled as a performer – when the audience applauses; I alsoknow what it feels like to be fulfilled as a daughter – when my parents thankme for being me. But as a nurse? I think I’d need more than my seven months ofexperience to finally know the feeling.

And just as I am in this era when I fancy resigning,God had made possible the unthinkable: Nurse Peng felt fulfilled. It happenedthe day our longest-staying patient went home recovered. Mother, as I fondly call her stayed 2 ½ months in our care. She wasone strong woman and I’ve seen her gone through a lot of difficulties that is waybeyond your average fever. I admit that there were times when I doubted herrecovery, but she has always proved me wrong.

Mother’s familycomprises of several nurses. Believe it or not, the toughest patients to haveare those who in one way or another are related to a nurse: may it be his/hersibling, parent, grandparent, or the patient is a nurse himself. From myexperience, nurses as relatives and/or patients tend to be bossy, questioningand bloody irritating. They question your nursing practice as if they do notknow that hospitals have unique standards in almost everything. But Mother’s family was nothing like that:they were helpful and trusting. It’s embarrassing that they sometimes knowbetter but I’m glad to be taught as I know that we have the same goal in mind: to savea life.

On Mother’sdischarge day, I was in total awe seeing her being lifted from the bed she haslong lied on and transferred to a wheelchair. At that moment, I thought: ‘Ifmiracles are real, then this must be it’. It’s a miracle how seven attendingdoctors, six nursing aides, 18 staff nurses, and an innumerable number ofresident doctors have worked hand-in-hand for the sake of one patient. It’s a miraclehow that once unresponsive patient now waved goodbye with a smile plastered onher face.

I know I shouldn’t be attached to patients; but this onereally made an impact on me. I sometimesmiss Mother’s presence in the wardalthough I would never want her to come back. It’s good to think that she’shome safe and comfortable.

I guess thefeeling of being extremely happy for complete strangers’ recovery is thebest definition of the so-called fulfillment. I'm quite sure I would never have feltthis if I was elsewhere.

Why you should get the Marian Choir as your wedding singer

2011-12-03T19:01:00.001-08:00

1. We give you the right dose of mass responses and love songs fit for the church ceremony and reception.

You will be provided a list where you are free to choose from our standard wedding songs, but if there are particular songs you would want to be included, we gladly study the piece for a little extra.

2. We prepare hard for your wedding day.

As much as you make everything ready for the big day, our group meet late nights to rehearse your songs and make it as perfect as you want it to be.

3. We dress up according to your motif.

We show up dressed according to your theme; except for Halloween-inspired I guess. But if you insist, I'm sure we can still improvise :)

4. We show up on time.

That is, no amount of heat, rain, calamity, or overheated vehicle that needed to be transported via physical force can stop us from singing that very first song. Tried and tested, very dangerous act indeed; but as Paulo Coelho said: 'When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it'.

And he was dead right.

5. Our soloists sing like there's no tomorrow.

No explanation needed: you just need to hear them.

6. And above all the hassle, we never fail to look good.

Home NEW! Home

2011-10-25T03:17:00.000-07:00

It has been already a couple of months since we've moved to our newly-renovated house. I intended to post earlier, but due to busy schedule and lack of good photos (LOL) it took this long...

Relax, we still have the same address; the house itself was just changed in more ways I could ever explain. Lets come in!

WORK IT!!

Kitchen's on the first floor across the dining area (not in photo, Dad hasn't bought the dining table yet). There's also two restrooms for this big family, one at each floor, hooray!
***

SECOND FLOOR

(L)Masters' Bedroom with an overlooking terrace (R)

Girls' Room (L) and Boys' Room (R)

THE house has four bedrooms (one more for the helpers), a laundry area, and like I said, a restroom upstairs. I'm immaculately happy on how our house turned out. Though it still needs a few 'edits' it's always nice to come home to a fresh-looking home. I love! <3

(1) Me cleaning my bookshelf with an N95 mask on, (2) Dad varnishing the seats, (3) Yoyo having a feel of the new door

Overwhelmed: I'm in Youngblood!

2011-10-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

No way. Today was just one ordinary duty day until I saw this...

Photo by A.M. Torrella

One of my articles was published in Youngblood. Like seriously, its the Philippine Daily Inquirer, my name is bloody parallel to the great Conrado de Quiros; I can just die now!

I can never describe how I felt today. "I'm happy" is an understatement.

http://opinion.inquirer.net/15517/first-payday

For the unedited article, click here.

I’m going crazy: CHARGE NURSE vs. BEDSIDE NURSE

2011-09-26T01:17:00.000-07:00

…a one-on-one interview with myself (LOL) as I step up to another milestone in my life: being a charge nurse…

You know, being in-“charge” of the station for one shift, tormenting your brains carrying-out orders, receiving and giving endorsements: that kind of stuff. I am aware that I’m immaculately young for the job, but my seniors have pushed me to it and it’s all very new for me, so I couldn’t help but write about it. J

And so, as I finished another shift, my brains’ all asking questions which it answered all by itself and here’s the all-noteworthy conversation…

Me1: How are you? Still in your right mind?

Me2: I don’t know, I’ve had six admissions this shift and my head’s all achy from all the doctor’s orders.

Me1: Compare being a bedside nurse from being a charge nurse

Me2: When you’re a bedside nurse, you already have a routine of taking vital signs, giving medications, bedside care, and you take orders from the charge nurse: he/she thinks for you (at least in my case, hihi). It's definitely way fulfilling to be a bedside nurse, I wonder why they invented charge nurses, kidding! J

When you’re the charge nurse, your routine would depend on the orders you need to attend to, you mandate what your bedside nurses need to do and you’re accountable to them and to all the patients.

Me1: What are the yipees and boos of being a charge nurse?

Me2: Thumbs-up for not having to run all-shift long. I go home with a relaxed body, as if I haven’t worked 8 hours. Thumbs-down for thinking the entire shift, my body’s’ relaxed, but my minds’ beyond tired. I also don’t get to see the patients; all I see are their relatives when they complain at the nurse station. And I have to know everything! That’s the biggest thumbs-down.

Me1: Describe your endorsement experience

Me2: I was all edgy, I didn’t know if my voice came out right. I envy those veteran charge nurses as they endorse effortlessly. Makes me think: God, I have so much more to learn!

Me1: Condense being a charge nurse in one word

Me2: PRESSURE!

White cap, anyone?

2011-09-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

I don't fix my hair at home. I do all the fixing at the hospital restroom, rush to my locker to get my white cap, pin it high and rush to the Nursing Office to drop my timecard at the bundy clock. I go over this hassle day by day for one goal: to keep my cap neat, white, and in perfect shape. I wouldn't dare put it inside my bag: it'll get all crumpled and ugly.

One of my patients is on Osteorized Feeding via nasogastric tube (NGT), so basically before I feed him, I had to elevate the head of the bed to prevent aspiration. As I was doing so, I felt as if someone has poked me on the head. Later, I found out that it was my cap, barging at the wall and hurting my scalp.

Great, my cap often get tangled on the curtains dividing the patients' beds in the ward. And when there's a Code Blue, I can't run with my cap on: it keeps on poking me on the head and often fall to God-knows-where.

Our hospital still makes use of the traditional image of nurses wearing white uniform with a matching white cap (except on special areas, where they wear scrubs). I was also clad in white as a nursing student. I remember my capping ceremony: all faces are beaming as we cant get enough of taking pictures with our cap and the Nightingale lamp. I even starched and ironed my first cap because my Clinical Instructor said that it could help in keeping the cap sturdier; which was a total lie. I ended up buying a new one.

I always wonder what the real purpose of the cap is, because obviously, it doesn't do anything! Yes, I am not forgetting that it is a sign of pride, professionalism, Nursinghood, but it can harbor bacteria as nurses transfer from patient to patient, so I really can't see the point. So for more than four years of wearing the cap, I finally got curious. I mean I have to know what it's for!

According to my research, it's quite hard to pin down the exact date of the cap invention; but all other sources point to Florence Nightingale 'The Lady with the Lamp' sometime in the mid-1800s. The cap then was designed after a nun's habit, because it is the nuns who were the first nurses. So you can imagine long veils like the ones present nuns wear today.

Wow! Nurses look like brides in the 1800's

This nurse wears the "modern" style cap in 1909, along with another piece of nurse attire, the cape.

The cap's purpose of keeping the hair neatly in place and giving us the professional look dates back to that time. Eventually, the cap evolved into different styles depending on the nursing school, hospital policy, or call of fashion. It's gotten smaller and more convenient to wear over the years.

Today, as more men enter the profession, more amendments were done as the caps were replaced by unisex pins. In some hospitals, they seemed to have forgotten altogether the white-clad image of nurses: they now makes use of colored scrubs with no white cap at all.

Whew, I am just happy that I became a nurse at this age, I couldn't bear wearing the long veil and cape, no pun intended. The cap had definitely been through a lot of history than I can imagine. It still did not in any way change my prospect of it as being of no use; but for the credit, I will continue going through the hassle of keeping it flawless. No matter how annoying that piece of thing on top of my head is, I will always be proud to be part of the noblest profession that never tires of donning the cap - Nursing.

Reference: http://www.medscape.com/features/slideshow/nurse-caps

http://www.lifebridgeblogs.org/2011/06/22/the-history-of-the-nurses-cap/

Reference:

Celebrating Becky Bloomwood..oh I mean, Sophie Kinsella!

2011-09-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

OK. Don't panic. Peng, you just finished the entire Shopaholic series and you still have a lot of other books to read. Its not as if it's going to kill you..

Gaaah! But I know it is! I totally love reading the Shopaholic series and now that I've finally put down it's last installment, Mini Shopaholic, I have no idea how to move on.

It has been October 13, 2010 since I bought Confessions of a Shopaholic in a Booksale outlet (my favorite place on Earth); and since then, I couldn't get enough of Rebecca "Becky" Bloomwood. No other fictional character has got me hooked this way. Sometimes, when I'm really tired and bored at work, I... (this is wierd, so promise not to laugh at me!) Ok, when I'm bored at work, I just think of having to end the day being with Becky as I flip each page, and suddenly I feel good again.

Honestly, I am not lesbian.

Confessions of a Shopaholic tells the story of Becky as a high-spirited Londoneer who works as a financial journalist. She has a big addiction on buying things, all sorts actually, using her credit cards. The thing is, Becky can't really afford it, so she resorts to several ways (nothing illegal) to feed her urges. As I read this first book, I fell in love with the character because of her winner personality and how Sophie Kinsella makes her readers feel as if we are inside Becky's head: like she's our bestfriend. It's also amazing that Kinsella never described how Becky looked, no description at all; so each reader can have her own Becky. Totally genius! I'm a fan :)

Confessions was followed by Shopaholic takes Manhattan where Becky and her boyfriend PR Man (totally rich) Luke Brandon goes to the Big Apple to find success there. It was one hell of a ride as Becky became a TV personality! (Sadly, she was just blabbing in all the interviews) She was deep in debt but thank goodness to all her friends as an auction for all her designer stuffs was launched and it totally wiped out all her red bank statements. I got to watch the Shopaholic movie and it was nothing compared to the paperback, it's really sad that these movie people did not give enough justice to the story.

Next is my favorite among the lot, Shopaholic ties the Knot where obviously, Becky and Luke walked down the isle twice. Yes, that's twice. Ha! It was a funny tale how Becky agreed to have two weddings, almost got mad trying to cancel one of them, and ending up being "married" twice. Kinsella had really blown my mind off here as she brilliantly prepared both weddings and was able to pull Becky out of her dilemma in style. Ok, I know you're confused, so let's just say that the Plaza wedding had lacking ceremonial details; just don't blab to Elinor.

Oh, Shopaholic and Sister was a total surprise for me as this thing really made me cry. Here, Becky found out that she have a long-lost sister; but it turned out that Jess was nothing like her. Dear Becky was disappointed beyond compare but as high-spirited as she is, she did everything to be close to Jess but they ended up having the biggest row. I cried a lot when Becky fell on a mountain as she was looking for her sister. They then became friends and was rescued by Suze, Becky's bestfriend. I also have a sister and were also a lot different, but we've grown up together so we've really worked out our differences all these years.

I read Shopaholic and Baby twice but I still laughed at the same portions, hihi. Becky was really naughty as she insisted to change obstetricians when she found out about Venetia Carter, the OB who handles the celebrities. It turned out that Venetia was Luke's ex-girlfriend and is a total bitch. Becky has turned into extreme measures as hiring a private investigator to know if Luke is really having an affair. It turned out that Luke really loves Becky and an affair is nothing but Becky's imagination. She gave birth to a baby girl which they named Minnie, and that leads us to the last (sniff) Shopaholic book...

No way is Mini Shopaholic any lesser than the previous ones as Kinsella ended it with a blast! Minnie turned out to be a typical high-energied toddler although her plays were more on the extreme side: she was banned from a lot of Santa's grottos, bought stuffs on Ebay and constantly screams "Miiine!" She's a normal kid all right, and that came form a real child expert. What's interesting in this book is Becky's surprise party for Luke. She wanted to throw a party that would definitely blow Luke away; but the thing is, there is a vast financial crisis and maybe it's not time for an expensive party. Nah, Becky Bloomwood does it again! And the party was spectacular! Luke had the best birthday with everyone greeting him. It was as if the entire world knows about the party and Becky had to wreck Luke's Blackberry and laptop to stop him from reading his emails.

Congratulations Sophie Kinsella! I do hope you wont stop writing about Becky. She's still going to Hollywood right? Please, please, write some more!

Just to show how much I love this series, here's me..

Preview

On failing the NLE

2011-09-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

I just came from a celebration of a friend who passed the Nurses’ Licensure Examination (NLE). The atmosphere’s all festive for the families and friends of the passers. But as I keep up with the happy spirit, I couldn’t help but think of how the non-passers take their fate.

I have never wanted to be a nurse; it was all my mom’s persuasion that’s why I took the course. So early last year as I was about to take the NLE, I firmly told her: “If I do not pass this in one take, I am not retaking, ever!” But luckily, I became a registered nurse and the rest was history.
Looking back, I would really not retake the exam, and just two days ago I asked my mom: “What if I didn’t pass the NLE? What would you have done?”
She said: “You can do whatever you like, work for a different field”
I was like “Drat. I shouldn’t have studied well!” Kidding.

On a more serious note, I had a friend who actually failed on his first try. He narrated that it was really a sad time for his family, much like when someone in the family passed away. But more than sad, it’s shameful (I guess you get the picture by now). He was lucky though to have a supportive family that did not gave up on him. He took the exam right the next season and brought home the victory. Now he’s on training on the same hospital where I work and I’ll be with him next shift. Hooray!

Other non-passers were not as lucky though. I’ve just had it with non-supportive families who rather than stood beside their loved one on this gloomy era had been total asssholes, making the loss even more unbearable. Failing an exam that you have exerted your entire effort for is agony, but having your own family despise you is beyond torture.

I may not be the best person to provide an advice, but I too am a nurse and I have dealt with all the unimaginable sacrifices in order to take the NLE, so my advice counts. Having the courage to face that 500-item examination is bravery, passing it is just a bonus. For most student nurses, aspiring nurses, and full-pledged nurses, our families are our inspiration to succeed, and their support is our only consolation. We would never have forced ourselves in this crazy nursing world if not for our loved ones, so even though we were not victorious on the first take, please do not let the faith as a family falter. Besides, upon entering real world, the NLE grade is nothing but a number.

I look up to all those NLE takers who failed but tried again, because I would never find the courage to face that examination twice.

My rubbish cable-internet provider

2011-09-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

It’s official: for more than a week, we had no internet connection. Endless calls to our provider hotline proved useless as our concerns were never attended. In fact, we’re lucky if our calls were answered; because most of the time, we just waste time listening to infinite phone ringing. I mean why put a hotline when there’s no one to answer?

For less than a year, my family have been subscribers of Planet Cable Inc., where TV cable and internet when combined costs only P990 per month. The installation early last year was swift, just one call and our house was cable and internet gifted the very next day. The TV cable was okay, but their internet services goes defective over slight rains, illegal connection and a lot of whatever. The irritating this is, we, the customers, do not receive any form of explanation whenever a disturbance happen, it’s just no internet today, you can guess what happened.

So when we experienced this more-than-a-week internet disturbance, my mom and I called their hotlines for I guess more than 100 times. We were passed on from person to person (not a single supervisor talked to us in these phone exchanges, mind you); providing us with no definite solution to our concern. And when finally their truck came to our house three days ago, the cable man said that there were illegal wirings causing the disturbance; and that the whole community had no internet that time. So there’s nothing he can do at the moment, he specifically promised to come back to our house the next day to check if the internet was indeed restored.

The next day came and their truck arrived at our house, and with no warning of any sort, cut our cable line. My mom and I were not home during that time and when we arrive to a TV-less home, I was like What the fuck? We were complaining about the internet and now our cable too was gone!
They were insisting that someone placed an analog splitter on our house and they had to cut it for some reason. We were being asked a penalty of some sort for placing that up. I mean, I have never seen an analog what’s-that-again? in my life; and do I look like a technician to you? (Our house was newly renovated and we have another TV in the bedroom upstairs so I guess the other technician placed the splitter thing in there.) But nevertheless, is cutting off the cable with no notice at all the proper way to do? If our technician did something illegal, are we the ones to blame? Whatever happened to the internet restoration promise?

Anyway, the cycle repeated itself: we called the hotline, nobody answered, and when we finally got through: nothing happened. My mom got really pissed and told the Planet people that we’re unsubscribing and we demand a refund for the whole month of August.

It’s now gone two days and they still haven’t removed their bloody line from our house and we’re still fighting over the refund while they insist the penalty. Wow, that’s what I call consistent service: rubbish from start to end. I’m just glad that the whole Planet gang aren’t doctors, nurses, or firefighters; because if they are, their customers will be dead by now.

This is a tale of one unsatisfied customer. I hope to warn many others who will mind to read.
I had doubts of writing this hate article because Planet’s not at all worthy of a space in my blog (In fact, I was not able to update my blog because of them). But just so they know, it does not feel right to be paying your due but you don’t get what’s right for you. And in case they have forgotten, this is just a reminder that they have to take care of their customers; too bad our family will no longer be included in that list.

Oh well, any suggestions for a better cable and internet provider? Screw suggesting Smart Bro, because we’ve already tried that and it seems that the rubbishness of the connection is quite contagious.

You are a choir member if…

2011-08-24T03:30:00.000-07:00

- - you can sit for hours learning a song without getting bored

- - the first time you receive a new musical score, you look at the notes, not the lyrics

- - you know very much that ‘#’ is not a pound sign, it’s a sharp

- - you don’t mind singing the opposite sex’s part, in fact you find it rather easy

- - you know what a tuning fork is, and you’re bestfriends with it

- - when you are nearing a performance, you bring your scores to school/work

- - when you are nearing a performance, you rehearse late at night and your non-choir friends can’t do anything about it

- - you’re ok with wearing identical gowns and suit; and you call them costumes

- - you can still manage a smile even though the spotlight is burning your eyes

- - you can stand not wiping your sweat until it’s time to take a bow

- - you know the musical Les Miserables by heart

- - you have at least once dreamt of entering Conservatory of Music

- - you fight over a karaoke microphone with your life, and..

- - you know that belting is not all there is in singing

This is in celebration of my sixth year with the Marian Choir of Cavite! More power to us guys. To God be the glory.

Nearby Spa

2011-08-21T06:35:00.000-07:00

By the time I came home this morning from night duty, the stress sent my body to a meltdown and I can only think of one thing: a massage. I don’t care how long, how hard; it’s just that I need one. So after sleeping, taking a bath and dressing up, I went straight to a spa center a few yards away from my house.

I’ve been eyeing this place for quite some time now; I just didn’t have the time to try its services. And besides, the name Healing Water Wellness Center does not appeal to me. I arrived at around 4PM and I must say I’m quite impressed: well-lit reception, aromatic place, and soothing music at the background. I ask the receptionist for their list of massage and after getting confused on the many choices, I asked her to choose me one.

So this is what she recommended: Healing Signature Massage

Hmmn, not bad. A therapeutic massage that is a combination of Shiatsu, Herbal, and Swedish massage. I guess I could use that.

She told me to wait to be called as my therapist will still be coming from another branch. Cool, an imported therapist!

So while waiting, I photographed two spa attendants rendering foot spa to their respective customers. I thought I could use a foot spa too.

I waited for about ten minutes and then Fairy, my therapist, came. She ushered me upstairs to a small, dark cubicle with one massage bed with a large rose on top. The cubicle was one in a row of others divided only by curtains, and it’s quite annoying as I could hear the other customers’ bone cracking.

After getting into the proper get-up, I laid on my stomach and Fairy started kneading on my back with a sarong covering me. She’s really good at what she’s doing and I felt really relaxed already. She continued doing that for about 10 minutes and as I was thanking God that she do not use oil or sticky lotion, I felt my back undraped and some lotion being applied. Drat.

Fairy continued doing her thing and despite the lotion, the rubbing was incredible. The problem about writing a topic like massage is it’s hard to put into words that godddamn feeling, and a lot of times, I wasn’t paying attention to Fairy, I’m just enjoying the moment. Apart from my back, she also held my shoulders, legs, feet, and I was a bit surprised at this: my buttocks. It was actually a first that that part was touched during a massage, I almost wanted to stop her when she was pulling my underwear down; but I just let it happen.

When she was done with my entire back, she asked me to face her. I was a bit dumbfounded, because again, that was a first. All my spa appointments before never asked me to lay on my back and now as I thought of it, I guess I was ripped off!

Fairy then massaged my front legs, arms, stomach, chest, and face. Man, that’s a total, complete, holistic, overall, what else? – approach. I totally love the feeling and that healing massage really healed me.

Fairy and I were together for 75 minutes and unlike those other massages that I wanted to go home before the time ends, my healing massage was enjoyable in each minute. After getting dressed, I went down with a cup of garlic tea waiting for me at the reception. The tea was hot and I was not able to finish because it made my throat sore, so I settled for a vanilla ice cream on a nearby Mini Stop. Seriously, spa centers must give customers complementary ice cream instead of rubbish orange juice or tea; ice cream’s far more relaxing.

I paid only P600 for the best yet massage of my life and now I’m ready for another week of night duty. Thank you Healing Water Wellness Center, now that I think of it, your name isn’t that bad. See you again when I badly need another massage. You guys rock!

HEALING WATER WELLNESS CENTER

Prime Asiatique Comml. Ctr., Buhay na Tubig, Imus Cavite

(046) 8754641

TOP 8 THINGS I HATE ABOUT BEING A NURSE

2011-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

Wondering why I chose eight? Each entry represents the standard eight hours nurses like me spend in one shift. Standard, eh? I frankly used the number because I need one; otherwise if I add up all the extended hours, this list could go on forever.

So I hate being a nurse because…

EIGHT - Nurses wear all white and we have to wear our hair up in a bun. You know how inconvenient plus hard to maintain that is? Okay, I came to duty on a heavy rain and mud starts making its way up my white uniform and there it is, a stain to last my entire shift. Also, putting my hair up prevents my it from being gorgeous! Really. That means no straightening, rebonding nor perming because I have to pull my hair back every single day. Oh God, I always envy those girls in high fashion corporate wears and all-set hairstyles. Maybe nurses should be allowed to look the same. Umm, just maybe.

SEVEN - We don’t get a professional fee (PF). We also have a license, and that makes us professionals too. But we don’t have a professional fee and we live on meager salary regardless of how many patients we’ve handled or cases we’ve assisted.

SIX - We do not have a holiday. Everyone in the industry can relate to this, I wouldn’t dare watch out for holidays because I just feel hopeless. The entire country rests lazily on their couches while I pin high my dear cap.

FIVE - We can’t leave unfinished work. I mean office girls do that, do they? They can leave unfinished works and get to it the next morning. But nurses have to stay for as long as needed because we just can’t leave things undone. Life is at stake and life can’t wait.

FOUR - We are the complaints center, if there is such a thing. When patients have a complaint on just about anything, they complain to the nurse. Not to the housekeeping staff, guard, doctor, or anyone else. Directly to the nurse; blame that for being too available.

THREE - Refer this and that. Even if I know what drug to give, and I have it right here in my very hands; I can’t give it, I always need to refer and ask for a prescription. I say nurses carry immense responsibility but very little authority, now how more frustrating can that get?

TWO – We are not treated as professionals. Leaking faucet? Faulty telly? We are always asked to do things we are not supposed to do. I mean, we’ve studied four dreaded years and earn ourselves a license for what? Fixing your telly signal? Hell no. Nurses are professionals like engineers, accountants, lawyers, and your beloved doctors whom you do not dare raise one eyebrow while you mindlessly shout at your nurse like your entire hospital bill goes straight to her salary.

ONE – Nursing is more than a sacrifice, it’s suicide. From nursing school to nurse’s station, enough sleep, enough food, nor enough rest is next to impossible. Here’s one idea that I’ve thought of just now: nurses religiously monitor patients’ urine output but at the end of the shift we realize we haven’t once gone to the bathroom: and that makes ours zero. So, if there’s one profession that wholly uses up one’s existence: be it mentally, physically, and emotionally, you got it: it’s Nursing.

Gosh, making a hate list is tiring; but then of course, I also have a list of the things I love in this field…

8. There are always doctors and nurses who look handsome in white and you get to trifle with them; and suddenly, the world is a better place J

7. I love it when I get in regular clothes and everyone stares in shock; as if I’ve got no right to wear nothing but white.

6. More seriously, as a nurse, I get to see life in all its forms: from womb to tomb.

5. I get to work with all the goodness of my heart, no PF needed. I’m quite about sure you wouldn’t find nurses in hell.

4. I love being able to discharge patients in their improved condition. Nothing beats seeing them go home thanking you for their recovery. I guess that just transpires the very essence of this job.

3. My heart leaps when patients and/or relatives appreciate the work I have done; when they actually call me by name and boast that I am their nurse.

2. No other profession is as heroic as ours: giving up our own lives in order to save others.

1. Last of all, nurses may not be angels, but we’re the next best thing.

Oh you get it, I’m proud of this job: I just never admit it because it’s just too much fun to complain. Kudos nurses!

Here's us at the nurses' station :)

Selfless

2011-08-16T05:32:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with my brother Yves a week ago and I was telling him how tired and uncompensated I am at work. All he said was this: "Ayaw mo non? Nakakatulong ka sa ibang tao?" (Don't you like that? You get to help other people?)

I was like: Damn, he's right. I mean this brother of mine is not someone who presents the brightest of ideas but this time, hes' frankly right. We nurses might not realize how needed we are in this world. Bluntly because we are often tired, frustrated, and God-knows-what-else. But surprisingly, other people see our importance; our heroic deeds that seems not anymore heroic as we do it each and every day. Average people like my brother sees it, and so as million others; I guess its high time we see our worth too.

Here's me and my brother, singing at a karaoke

A patient's curse: a hospital blackout tale

2011-08-08T23:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was just one of the most depressing shifts of my life; in fact it was so depressing I had a hard time thinking of the word.

I was on a PM shift (2-10PM), and the lights suddenly went out right after our rounds. Yes, it doesn't take a genius to guess, there was a power failure on our side of the hospital building. Panic rose from everywhere as two of our patients are on mechanical ventilators and obviously, we have to manually resuscitate them. I ran from room to room assisting in ambubagging*, answering inquiries and providing comfort while my own perspiration trickles down my white uniform.

To make matters worse, the blackout did not last for seconds nor minutes, it lasted seven long hours. I just couldn't face the patients' inquiries on whats taking the power too long; partly because I honestly dont know the answer and at that moment, I don't want to ask.

At around 5 in the afternoon, everyone got restless of waiting, a lot of patients and their relatives were demanding for additional lights and emergency fans, but most of them wants a room transfer...

And that includes my patient Ms. B. I planned to give her her due dose of antibiotic before the room transfer; but she suddenly shouted and badmouthed me on the corridor while a lot of other patients and their relatives stare. She kept on shouting and I felt very little at that time. I almost wanted to cry but I did not let my emotions come in the way. I told myself that Ms. B just got fed up of waiting; she came to the hospital to feel comfort and she's not getting it at the moment.

I proceeded with the room transfer and once we were on the well-lighted and air-conditioned room, I gave the medication and went on my way.

Sometimes even if you have exhausted all means to provide care, at the expense of your own needs, they still find you inadequate. And it sucks that nurses have to be always nice, in a way I don't even begin to understand.

P.S. I am not blaming anybody for what happened, but just so you know, it did not feel right.

*bag valve mask

Acing the NLE (Nursing Licensure Examinations)

2011-06-29T04:26:00.000-07:00

This goes to my good friend Jamie Lane who will be taking the Nursing Licensure Examinations on July 2-3, 2011. Goodluck to you and to the rest of the 126, 826 future registered nurses.

Exactly one year ago, I was one of those agitated nursing graduates who wanted to make their names longer by adding an R and an N. I was neither the best student in my college class nor during review, but I made it to the list of successful examinees in one take. I did not do much to prepare, but I'm sure I did enough. I know there is nothing much to share, but who knows, the following list might lead you to the oathtaking ceremony at SMX:

1. Accept reality

With three days before the big brain-drain day, accept that you can never learn everything. The normal values in your bedroom wall will remain where it is because you have just ignored what's written the whole review period. However, never doubt the answers that you are very sure of. The choices might be tricky, but never let your confidence falter.

2. Master the art of test-taking strategies

Techniques like choose the longest answer, the one with the most information must be the right answer, process of elimination, 'All of the Above' is always the right choice, and never choose 'None of the Above' are just some of the strategies that helped me pull off the NLE. You are not to use it on all 500-items, but when the time comes that you really do not know the answer, at least you have some strategies to use.

2. Listen, but do not depend solely, on your review center

They are centers for RE-viewing, a second take of what we have learned for the past four years. If you don’t have anything to look back on or remember; you don’t need a review center. You need another four years.

3. Listen to your review center, but believe only half of what they say

Do not waste your energy recording/writing down/memorizing the 'test answers' they give during Final Coaching; even if they claim that those are the actual test questions, believe me, they ultimately do not come out.

4. Practice shading

Learn that no amount of genius can calculate the weight of your hand against the Scantron paper: your license depends on gravity alone, and except for defying gravity, the next best thing to do is practice.

5. Do not alter you circadian rhythm

This applies specifically at the eve of the board exam; if you are used to studying until 11PM and hitting the sack at 12 midnight, follow this routine so you wont feel uneasy at the exam day itself.

6. Bring the right kind of food during the exam

This is no field trip, so better keep your oily junk foods; besides you would not want to put oil on you test paper, would you? Bring enough sweets, aside from not wanting to stain the Scantron paper with chocolate, too much carbohydrates will doze you off, and when that happens, your dreams of becoming an RN dozes off with you. Bring something sour or bitter like tamarind or coffee-flavored candy, this will wake you up when you feel like sleeping over Test II.

7. Always keep calm

At this time when you have nothing to count on but yourself, keep it cool and do not let anything or anyone make you nervous. Remember that you are not the only one who's having butterflies on your stomach, there are at least 126, 826 others feeling the same way.

8. Do not cheat

Keep your dignity as you answer each test item. Do not let a mere 500-item examination destroy everything you have worked for. A cheater do not in any way deserve to be included in the pool of registered nurses.

9. Pray

Pray before, during, and after the examinations; if God has really called you for the profession, there is no way you would not make it.

Congratulations in advance to all the hopefuls. Remember that as nurses, we have our own destiny to chart, literally and figuratively. If unfortunately you did not make it this year, keep your spirit, there are still a lot of examinations ahead. Above and beyond, the board rating is nothing but a number.

May 10: first payday

2011-05-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

Since graduating last year, I could not imagine myself holding money not coming from my mom’s wallet or using a credit card that’s not her extension. Having an actual job still has not sunk in to me until this day: my very first payday. The days leading to this special moment has been awfully bad for me; apparently 3C has not in any way reduced its level of innate toxicity. Even as a junior nurse, I have experienced handling 16 patients all in one shift. To make matters worse, I was asked to stay for another eight hours after that dreaded shift. Yes, I worked for 16 straight hours! Thank God my immune system held me.

Jumping carrots, I swear I am in no way complaining; all employed people have their own disputes at work, and I guess this is my definition of ‘hard-earned’ when I say hard-earned salary.

So, I’m not really sure if you’re supposed to be resting on your payday, but my off- day fell on May 10 so I’m here at home writing this. My ATM lies in front of me and I don’t have any idea what to do with it. Should I go to the bank now? Oh, there was this one time that my dad went to the bank to see if he can get his salary, but then he came back to the car and told me that there’s still no money in there. I don’t know what he did; I guess he came back the next day. What if that happens to me? It’s past lunch time now, is it possible that my salary’s now available?

If and if I was able to get hold of my foremost own money, what am I going to do with it? Of course I have a lot of things in mind, like I need a new phone, my laptop’s LCD is broken, I need a massage, I’ll buy new shoes, makeup, have my nails done… all a little far-fetched because I know I won’t be earning much to buy all that. One of my friends told me that you should spend every single centavo of your first pay because it brings goodluck; I believed him at first, but now I realized he just said that so I’ll be compelled to treat him when this day arrive. I’ve also heard that you should give the entire first pay to your parents: not half, but the entire pay – like a sweet little earning kid. But then there’s also this treat-your-family-with-your-first-salary obligation that just too...well, obligatory.

The sky is slowly getting dark now, and I have to get to the bank fast; I sure don’t want to wet my first salary LOL. I’m now certain that I’m going to spent it on an all-expense treat for my family this weekend while the rest of the amount goes to my mom.

The shoes and makeup as well as liquor party for friends will have to wait till next payday. First pay here I come!

To toxicity, and beyond!

2011-04-24T01:06:00.000-07:00

Two weeks after publicly announcing my 'bumhood' expiration, I am deemed to tell you my dear readers that my employment is just about to start yet: tomorrow. Yes, very confusing, I actually spent two unpaid weeks of what they call in-hospital training: listening to lectures, answering quizzes, sitting on seminars: most likely my college life in rewind. Well, every hospital has its own special way of functioning, and Manila Doctors Hospital welcomed me with a feel of school a second time around. As I end this two training weeks, I enter my six-month probationary period as a trainee nurse; and after that, I will be a regular employee. Right, unbelievable: a hospital's structure might look boring white to you, but believe me, it's existence is as diverse as the colors of a rainbow.

my humble work place.. visit me!

Luckily, my last day of training was last Tuesday, April 19; and we were sent home with some complicated news. The news was exciting for others, scary for some, and a mix of both for me: it was our area assignment. If you are not in the medical profession, you might think each station of the hospital is nothing but identical white corridors, beds, and hanging dextrose. But unfortunately for us, each area has its rare personality that is just too known to us.

So there, I was assigned to Medical-Surgical Ward 3C (take the elevator at your left when facing the enormous staircase, go to third floor and then turn to your most left). The ward's name itself oozes in toxicity that when I was a student nurse, I couldn't bear seeing it on my three-day rotation. I've heard that they have scores of 30 and above patients in that single area: a number that's just too many for me to comprehend. I can now see myself looking pale, unkempt, and lunch-less during my shift. I know that I have to learn a lot in Nursing; and if this is God's way of teaching me, I grant 3C strains the limits of the word. Why couldn't it be something simple, like the plagues, another Ondoy, or the end of the world? Why 3C? When I told my friends that I will be a 3C nurse, they were like 'Seriously? Goodluck tol!' (very supportive indeed) some were more compassionate by saying, 'You can do it'.

Yes, I have a license and I know what I can do. There are a lot of bum nurses out there and this is just not the time to get choosy. I have for years lived on the idea of wearing white and attending to patients, and its a bit late to back off now. I sometimes envy my colleagues who enjoy doing what we do. I hear them saying this profession is very fulfilling and caring for the sick is their way of spreading love and serving mankind. Truth to be told, I haven't felt any of that and I wonder where do one get 'fulfillment'?

I may have nothing but shallow spirits for Nursing, but I am certain that I will survive 3C not because I have no choice, but because I am no person who accepts failure. I will be like Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear, a believer, a nurse, and I say...

TO TOXICITY, AND BEYOND!

How I spent 9 months of bumness: a pre-employment tale

2011-03-31T04:18:00.000-07:00

I took the Nurses’ Licensure Examination last July 3 and 4, 2010; and since then, I was compelled to be a bum. According to Webster, a bum is a person who does no work; synonyms include do-nothing, idler, layabout, loafer. Following is a list of the things I did during the longest do-nothing era of my life; I:

1. read nine months worth of newspaper, Philippine Daily Inquirer

2. attended late night rehearsals with the Marian Choir

3. went to Bohol with friends for six days

4. performed at the Marian Choir ethnic-inspired concert last August 14

5. jumped and screamed upon seeing my name at the list of board passers

(August 25, 12 NN)

6. raised my hand at the Oathtaking Ceremony at SMX

7. celebrated! (got drunk c/o party-hopping for almost one month! You really must not underestimate the number of new Registered Nurses that time)

8. went to Pangasinan for five days (to party still)

9. waited impatiently for my nurses’ license

10. submitted my resume’ and other requirements to Manila Doctors Hospital --- November

11. studied driving for five days

12. studied parking for more days

13. accompanied my Balikbayan aunt in her shopping sprees and gimik

14. wrote articles for Essays.PH and Odesk.com (crappy sites, total waste of talent)

15. attended four Nursing-related seminars (just four, LOL)

16. volunteered to two medical missions

17. applied for two call centers, passed their exams but got dumped because I was too honest. I told them I have a pending application in a hospital and they literally dropped the phone in my face.

18. sang Christmas carols to I guess more than 100 houses

19. put smiles on the faces of Bukid Kabataan kids (partner orphanage of Marian Choir)

20. spent Christmas and New Year in Tanay, Rizal

21. joined Mr. & Ms. Marian Choir 2010 and won Ms. Talent and Ms. Q & A

22. went to Divisoria twice

23. went to Vigan, Ilocos with Marian Choir for two days ----------------------------- January

24. talked nonsense day after day with Yoyo, my eight year old brother

25. said goodbye to three friends who went abroad (Brenda, Danieve, and Anjanette)

26. decorated two scrapbooks

27. reorganized five photo albums

28. finished ten novels, not including the one I’m about to finish tonight

29. watched all 104 episodes of Phineas and Ferb

30. got front seats watching HBO, Starmovies, ETC, Starworld, TLC

31. worked, or rather volunteered, as my mom’s Private Duty Nurse for three days

32. got flabby

33. facebooked

And tomorrow; yes, on April Fool’s Day, my bumness will finally come to an end. I will at last be doing what I’ve been longing to do: work. My dad will now stop asking me about work, my bed be empty before sun up, and I get to utilize that little plastic card I’ve vowed to call a license. It took nine gruesome months, and I hope this will all be worth the wait.

I’m tremendously nervous but all I know is that tomorrow, I will be off to my very first post-college job ever! Wish me luck. Cheers!

To an exceptional man

2010-11-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

I know everyone had been in love; this is no doubt the bestselling topic in all texts existing. But to give love asking for literally nothing in return? That’s bullshit. Every single one has to be rewarded: a kiss, a hug, and sometimes more than that. This might be far-fetched, but I know someone who loved selflessly. And I’m glad I met him.

He’s named Romer. I live with him for as long as I could remember. He stayed with me patiently wherever our family settles. That is, no matter how long, no matter how far. I remember one time when I was eating voraciously and the fish bone from my dish stuck to my throat. I was crying. He was very worried. In moments I saw him jump to his ride and buy a whole bundle of bananas for me to swallow.

A true lifesaver. My hero.

I was and I am still, hard-headed. In times when I was scolded by my parents, he became my shield, my strong barrier. Together we find escape to the little troubles I made.

I remember when he left to live in America. I missed him terribly, of course I was used to having him around 24/7. He calls me often, we talk about school, home, and he always asks me what I want. And when I tell him, he never said no, even though he can’t afford it, he looked for means.

He’s thoughtful; never missed my birthday even though we were miles apart. He called during one of my parties, but I cut him short. I was too busy entertaining my friends so I asked him to call some other time. I was selfish, I never knew that hearing my voice and reading my letters makes him unimaginably happy. That spending time with him on the telephone kills his loneliness especially when he has to spend Christmas, or his birthday, alone.

I was not thoughtful; I was too busy I forgot to greet him on one of his birthdays. It’s pathetic that we are one day ahead of America but I still failed to remember. That was in October.

Four months later, he fell sick. He is one person who’s afraid of doctors: never in his life did he experience consulting one. But this time, it was really bad. He was really afraid then, of all the procedures he has to undergo. Finally, as the results came, he was diagnosed with Lymphoma. Lymphomas are neoplasms of cells from the lymphatic system: a type of cancer.

I never knew how serious it was then, I was still able to talk to him at first. But then his condition deteriorated so fast. I feel useless, I was helpless. I would have traded anything just to be next to him at that moment, but I just couldn’t.

I wrote him letters, they were read to him. I emailed our family photo and he asked for it to be placed across his bed for him to look at it always. It rained get-well cards for him. Surely he has touched a lot of people’s lives, and a lot wanted him to win against cancer.

He stayed 29 days in the hospital, and on March 11, 2007, he breathed his last.

Nothing compares to the hurt I felt upon hearing the news. A day before it happened, I sent him a video presentation of our photos together with me singing at the background. Unfortunately, it reached him late. He never had the chance to watch it.

His lost made tell myself that yes, I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH. I wish I was beside him to tell him this before he left, but I guess a man as selfless as he is needs no explanations.

I am now 20 years old, Romer is my uncle. My Tito Romer, my Omem. He was never married, never had his own children, but he treated me as if I was his daughter. And this is my humble attempt to share his story; to somehow tell him that wherever he might be, he is never and will never be forgotten. I promise.